No Time For Bitter Criticism!

Once I emceed a program, the first time of its kind. Like any Public Speaker, I was nervous at the beginning and oblivious of how it will turn out. I had rehearsed over and over again until the moment of truth came. I got onto the stage and well, if you ask me, I think I performed fairly great as a first timer for that kind of program. At the end of the show, here I was grinning from ear to ear and receiving approbation here and there. The organizer walked to me and said “hmm, you failed to acknowledge the presence of an important stakeholder and that’s a major setback to the success of this program.” These words from this person whom I respected so much ripped me apart. I couldn’t hide my disappointment, my face was drawn in the very words of “shame-on-you.”

I recall this story probably so vividly than I will remember how to solve an Elimination and Substitution math problem because, the remnants of that statement left a scar on me and made me feel like I could never become a pro at this ‘’Mc-ing” thing.
People are quick to criticize than praise. Some easily find faults with others even when there’s truth glaring that this is a job well done.
I realize that whenever I’m commended for something good, it motivates me to be even better. The urge with which I do that same activity increases as compared to when I’m given demeaning feedback. I find no pleasure and will in doing it anymore. I tell myself, after all, I’m not so good and I can never live up to their standards. The mere thought of being condemned makes me stagger in doing it.
The myth behind bitter criticism that we’ve been made to believe is that, they make us want to work hard. No! That’s a big lie! Personally, every little word of affirmation inspires me a greater deal than a million bucks of condemnation does.
In my everyday dealings with people, I’m learning not to be miser in shedding positivity with people, it lifts their spirits up. Simple compliments like, ‘’you look nice”, “your shoes are nice”, “your presentation was on point” etc… go a long way.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t give constructive criticisms when necessary. The difference is that, with constructive criticisms, you point out the shortcomings and suggest ways of improvement. But if your feedback is ignominious and belittling, then you can keep them to yourself.

In a bid to improve our relationships with people, we should always remember that human beings are made of emotions and the words we speak to each other magnifies or dents their self-esteem. Bitter criticism helps no one. Talented people leave organisations because of some of the things their superiors spew to them about their hard work. Not everyone takes denunciations lightly, shake it off and move on. It remains engraved in their minds and rips them off of ever becoming productive.
There’s a saying that, “any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – most fools do.” You choose what you want to be. Let’s be better, people.

Light and Love,